A job I'm glad I never had.

"Repeat offenders get a note on their file that says "LUBE WARNING". Management policy is that for $6.50 an hour, clerks should not have to deal with the bodily fluids of others. The first time we discreetly but firmly remind the customer that the tapes need to come back clean. The second time we hand him the tape, the Windex, and the paper towels and tell him to clean off the tape in full view of whoever else is at the counter."

True Porn Clerk Stories

Dear lobster...

"I am sorry. Not for eating you, for your meat was like butter and nuts and had a richness that didn’t seem like it should belong to the sea."

Dear Lobster

Please unsubscribe me.

For anyone who's ever been on an email listserv where people do not realize that hitting "reply" actually REPLIES TO EVERYONE ON THE LISTSERV.

Re: Cephalopod

Fun with legos.

This video was made for a competition which, if the creator (Michael Leonard) wins it, will give him $10k to pay for law school. Watch, be amused, and vote.

[via Not Martha]

¡Qué rico!

In this pair of videos from a Candid Camera-style Spanish television show, children participate in a fake casting for a yogurt commercial where the yogurt, unbeknownst to them, has been salted. Watch them deal, or not deal, with this surprise.

[via Serious Eats]

It's not exclusive to college.

A "documentary" about an age-old college tradition: the march of shame.
(Go here to see it bigger.)

Workouts for the couch-inclined.

I have to say, since I got my wii, I have been spending a lot of time procrastinating on it. The wii fit is just another game which fools you into thinking you're doing something productive (i.e., working out), but you're really not, as this video says.

Cookie lovers unite!!

I'm sure everyone has seen this already, but I still laugh every time I watch it. Stephen Colbert discusses the tragedy that cookies are no longer the number one snack for children. Cookie Monster guest stars.

Hot or not?

In his Freakonomics blog post, "real people" discuss how much looks really matter in their workplaces. Make sure you read the comments - those are always the funniest.

How much do looks matter?

Dear Penthouse..

Well, obviously you'd only read Penthouse for the articles. In that case, you'd want to know when errors were found in said articles.

Corrections to Last Month's Letters to Penthouse Forum