And you thought YOU had time on your hands

How can anyone live in this house while all this stuff is happening?!

Maybe the funniest thing ever.

Strongbad answers email. No words I write here will do him justice.

Strongbad's email

Type monkey, type!

Bored at your current job? Want a way out? Need quick typing skills in order to do so? This website will test how quickly you type, and will even help you improve your speed and accuracy with various typing games.

TypingTest.com

Fake Playboy Retractions

This is a very amusing article from McSweeney's. If you don't know McSweeney's, they're a wonderful publication and website that posts short fiction writing. They often have great short stories and fake articles. You can follow favorite authors as well. Very handy.

This particular piece is a fake retraction from an editor of an adult magazine.

SORRY FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING ABOUT YOUR PORN

Fairly Undeniable

Does it help my case that this was forwarded to me by a gay friend? Oh, hell, it's just funny...and increasingly disturbing how many men begin to look like women in their old age...

OLD MEN WHO LOOK LIKE LESBIANS BLOG

Practice animal kindness.

You have but one goal: Don't shoot the puppy. Simple instructions; surprisingly hard to execute.

Don't Shoot the Puppy

Um, really, this is just in case you've locked yourself out of your house (again).

On the wrong side of a door? Need to get in, and don't have a key? Just always wanted to know how they pick locks in the movies? This handy website will show you how to fix that problem, pronto.

(Image via.)

Guide to Lock Picking

Beware marauding pastries made with artificial ingredients!

Paul Simon might have written a song about 50 ways to leave your lover, but Cakespy has figured out 50 ways to kill a Twinkie. You know, just in case.

(image from.)

LET'S KILL SOME TWINKIES!

Who doesn't need helium at their side?

This is a bizarre collection of animated web shorts featuring August Strindberg and his imaginary wingman, a helium balloon. Strindberg's morose ramblings are amusing, but it's the random support of Helium in the background that makes this really funny. Special thanks to Kemper for this find.

WATCH STRINDBERG AND HELIUM!

What color are you?

The fine people at Pantone, in addition to providing standardized colors for use, well, everywhere, also predict annual color trends. Additionally, they've created this handy little site for you to discover your birthday color. I am grape royale.

Colorstrology